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Real-life stories: Suicidal or just unable to cope

“My Body Was Wasting Away. I Had Almost Lost Hope.”

hand.jpgAs I was lying there, a hand stretched down towards me to pull me from my bed. I reached up and grabbed the hand and it gripped me firmly. It began to pull me upwards, through the ceiling, up through the clouds, and towards the sky. I knew it was Jesus pulling me upwards and taking me home. Suddenly someone jumped up from the earth and grabbed onto my feet to try and stop me leaving…

I woke up and realised it had been a dream. I was still lying in the hospital bed in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where I had been for the past two days. My body was wasting away. I had almost lost hope. I was totally at the mercy of the doctors and God.

Within a couple of days I was out of hospital and beginning to feel better. My strength was returning and I started to understand my dream. I had been dying from undiagnosed malaria. My family had Emailed people all over the world asking for prayer for my healing.

In my dream I was leaving this earth. Jesus was taking me home to be with him. However, the people jumping up and grabbing onto me represented the prayers of all those friends from my church in England and countless others from around the globe. The hand released me and the prayers were answered. Jesus didn’t put up a struggle, he let go. He knew my time had not come to leave. Too many people were praying for me,so he let me stay.

When I woke from the dream, doctors came into my room and told me I had malaria. The news excited me. It was the only hope I’d had in weeks. I knew it was fairly easy to treat malaria. Now that they knew what was wrong with me, I was convinced I would get better.

The dream gave me hope. I wasn’t leaving yet. The doctors gave me the appropriate medication, and although I felt better straightaway, it took me three months to get my life back to normal. God had healed me because of the prayers of my friends and family. When I was at that point of despair, when all hope was lost, God gave me a dream that gave me hope.

Pete McKnight, 2009

Pete McKnight works full-time for the English Institute of Sport. He is a Strength and Conditioning Coach for the Olympic athletes based in the North. He is involved in leadership in his church in Loughborough where he lives with his wife and son.


Taken from ‘My Reason to Hope’ by Andrew Swift, published by Authentic Media (£8.99)

‘My Reason to Hope’ is a collection of true, honest stories from different people who have put their hope in God. Available from Christian bookshops or, www.wesleyowen.com

Story and picture reproduced by courtesy of Challenge Newsline

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